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Short & Sweet Tweets For People Who Hate Reading

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wipe my counters down after every meal instead ofi want travel more 307 pm 72120 twitter android
wipe my counters down after every meal instead ofi want travel more 307 pm 72120 twitter android


For those who hate studying however are nonetheless in dire want of some comedic leisure, we have you coated. Reading through a tweet by no means requires various seconds of consideration span at a time, in spite of everything!

1.

Text - smartass_moms @smartass_moms I want abs.... ..olutely all the tacos. 7:03 AM · 7/2/20 · Twitter for Android

2.

Text - cal? @cal_gif damn these scammers don't have to be so rude Hey sorry l'm just getting to you, You've been selected out of the giveaway That you commented on earlier Ill double Whatever your bank balance is now. yes I'm serious this is all legit I don't have time to play with anyone's money at all. Just Screenshot your bank balance and send the screenshot so I can know what to double! 7:51 PM EVERYDAY CHECKING $-6.42 Available balance WAY2SAVE® SAVINGS $3.84 Available balance * Get a Free

3.

Text - Shelby Wolstein @ShelbyWolstein the thing about hiking that i like most is that after you get to the cool part and your body is collapsing under you, you're actually still not done 7:03 PM · 7/20/20 · Twitter for iPhone

4.

Photo caption - @calebsaysthings · 1d everybody in my line at airport security is wearing hazmat suits. my mask was $2. caleb hearon *~*~never let the fear of striking out stop you from playing the game*~*~ TUARU To All Gates ,are eligit Ther ceed to the re lane 13 27 19 ♡ 1,782 caleb hearon O @calebsaysthings · 1d pov: you're in a hazmat suit and I'm wearing shorts 4 inches above my knee

5.

Text - Kevin Tang @Yolo_Tengo I guess... this is what we've been doing to each other at bars all along huh ANSYS 2019 R3

6.

Text - Sooz E @CruisinSoozan Working on my PhD in the craft room. The PhD stands for Projects Half Done and I'm writing my thesis in glitter glue. 6:25 PM · 7/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone

7.

Product - Zach L. Wilson @ThatZachWilson "Well son, it was July of 2020 that we really just gave up." HOUSE -CHEEZ IT но +CHEEZ-IT CHEEZAT WINE WI HEEZ-IT HOUSE CHEEZIT HOU baked snack crackers- hoked sack sackere ORIGINal ORIGINal ORIGINAL RED BLEND ORIGINAL RED B WINE E WIN made 100% REAL CHEESE 100% REAL CHEESE FRESH FOR EVERYONE. CHEEZIT 2499 CHE

8.

Text - Sandra O @nigerianmommy Parenting is sometimes a walk in the park or a walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Most times, it lies somewhere in between. 6:47 AM · 7/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone

9.

Text - normal regular guy @cowboypraxis people who post pictures to the reviews section of online shopping websites: the progeny of heaven await you with open arms. you shall be seated at the right hand of the father, anointed by grace.may you be adorned by a cloak of righteousness, bejeweled in perfect love, such tha 8:22 AM · 7/17/20 · Twitter for iPhone

10.

Text - Carlie Rice @carlierice idk why but whenever a workout instructor says "and if you want to make it a little more difficult..." I take that as a personal challenge

11.

Text - cal? @cal_gif what modern day thing do you think would kill a victorian era child? I think a single sip of 4loko would wipe them out

12.

Text - Momof1AndDone @momoflanddone_ You know you're an adult when picking the right size Tupperware container for your leftovers on the first try, makes you LEGITIMATELY happy. 9:27 AM · 7/9/20 · Twitter for iPhone

13.

Text - Laura Marie @lmegordon Sent my husband nudes and he asked me which mole I was worried about. 6:10 PM · 7/22/20 · Twitter for Android

14.

Product - FREE OROMIA @quesxdia tired mom Vermont's Finest BEN&JERRY'S Coffee Toffee Bar Crunch vermont's Finer BEN&JERRY Vanilla Cove mi iffee Pe Ben & Jerry's O Visit READ THE LABEL MAKE SURE IT SAYS COFFEE!!!! Text Message Vanilla fce Cream

15.

Text - PhD Diaries @thoughtsofaphd I am absolutely crushing my To Do list today and that would be great if it wasn't from April 6:30 AM · 2020-07-16 · Twitter for iPhone

16.

Text - Virginia McMurdo @VirginiaMcMurdo I'm glad my New Year's Resolution for 2020 was to wipe my counters down after every meal, instead ofI WANT tO tRaVel MoRe 3:07 PM · 7/21/20 · Twitter for Android

17.

Human - alexandria morgan @AlexandriaM... · 1d v that time I spilled red wine on my new white pants and my friends were taking a pic because I notoriously always spill drinks and they told me not to buy the pants...but bella hadid thought we were trying to take a pic of her...

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19.

Text - Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix Wife: What's wrong? Me: I'm sad because everyone on Twitter is naming their vagina but I can't becauseI don't have one. Wife: Me: [sighs] Wife: you sure? 5:14 PM · 7/21/20 · Twitter for iPhone

20.

Text - its steeve again @steeve_again Facebook is the greatest "holy shit I didn't realise that person was insane" app of all time 6:43 AM · 7/17/20 · Twitter for iPhone

21.

Tumbler - matt james @matthewavocado if a mexican restaurant got cups like these you know it's about to be fire Back

22.

Text - dADDisms @Beagz "I want your undying attention but I also want you to die falling down the stairs." - my cat 6:42 AM · 7/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone

23.

Text - Merriam-Webster Merriam- Webster @MerriamWebster English is so weird* we don't have to make stuff up. *The original meaning of 'weird' was "magical." John Panzer @jpanzer · 7h Replying to @MerriamWebster Are you just making stuff up now? We really couldn't tell if you were. 6:22 PM · 7/22/20 · Twitter Web App

24.

Text - not brendan @crocodilethumbs SS Hey there Delilah... a thousand miles seems pretty far but they've got planes and trains and cars Jrs Guy That Just Waked 500 Miles and 500 More: they have what 11:30 AM · 15 Dec 19 · Twitter for iPhone 5,784 Retweets 34.1K Likes

25.

Text - *sigh*clops @aotakeo [watching Great British Bake Off] ME: no egg white in your Crème Caramel?!?! it won't set up you idiot WIFE: your pop tart is burning 8:59 AM · 7/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone

26.

Text - Laura Marie @lmegordon Me: Oh my, you drew eyebrows on your forehead in permanent marker. 5: You look surprised. Me: So do you. 10:09 AM · 7/16/20 · Twitter Web App

27.

Text - The Mommy Memeoirs @mommymemeoirs The only thing I hate more than when someone calls me, is when someone calls me and doesn't leave a message. 6:18 AM · 7/21/20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Tagged: Quick And Candy , twitter , witty , witty comebacks , relatable , intelligent , relatable tweets , twitter memes , humorous tweets , humorous twitter , witty reply
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